All these posts about school have me reminiscing about when I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was blissfully riding on the choo-choo train of life when this disease abruptly flipped a switch and diverted me onto tracks I did not want to be on. I was a scared, angry, and stupid kid who didn’t want to hear that his life had been changed forever.
I’ve never been one to listen. The more I’m told the do something, the more inclined I am to do the opposite. So while plenty of this wisdom had been bestowed upon me at a young age, I needed to learn these lessons for myself, and boy did I learn them. So without further ado, here are ten tidbits of wisdom for teenage Tim and anyone newly diagnosed with IBD.
Don’t spend so much energy hiding your disease.
People are way too concerned about themselves to worry about how many times you’ve gone to the bathroom. There’s no need to walk the opposite way of the bathroom, walk up the stairs, then back down another stairwell to cover up that you have to take your sixth Crohn’s dump of the day. The energy spent coming up with excuses for why you disappeared should be used in more productive ways.
All the partying isn’t worth it.
Blacking out three times a week is not cool. A pack of cigarettes a week is not cool. These self-destructive actions have exactly zero positive impacts on your life. They’re detrimental to your health, finances, grades, and relationships. The college experience is one thing but remember that moderation is the key to life.
Take the time to understand your disease.
Don’t wait until your 30s to figure out where in your intestines your disease is located. Don’t wait to learn the differences between your large and small intestines. Having a less is more attitude when it comes to learning about your autoimmune disease is dumb. Don’t be afraid to learn about the scary stuff. You’ll have all the information in the world available at your fingertips. Use it!
Enjoy the good days.
The good days will be few and far between, but they will come and when they do treasure them. If what you’re doing that day isn’t making you happy, drop it. Few things in life can’t be picked back up again another day. Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish.
Exercise frequently.
Learn the power of exercising early. You’re a skinny guy, but you don’t have to be. Get past your fear of the gym and build some muscles. Exercise will improve your health, both physically and mentally. It will also improve your self-esteem.
Figure out a career early.
Don’t listen to career counselors. Picking a college without having a direction in mind is a bad idea. You have some things working against you, so It will behoove you to carefully and deliberately figure out your career choice at an early age. Find something you have a natural aptitude for and also find interesting. Don’t worry about the money. The money will come when you can fully commit to something that makes you happy every day.
Be honest with the doctors.
Don’t needlessly suffer through symptoms because you’re afraid of the bag. If you’ve been shitting blood all week, don’t tell the doctors you’re fine. Spoiler alert, you’ll eventually end up with a bag, and it won’t be anything like you’ve imagined. If being honest with the doctors means an ostomy earlier in life, so be it.
Nourish your body with quality foods.
White Castle, Taco Bell, and Jack in the Box multiple times a week is not good for you. The late-night fast food trips will take a toll on your body. No matter how many times Dr. Revera-Bennett tells you that it doesn’t matter what foods you eat, it does matter, and your father will be right about this one. Buy a cookbook and learn your way around a kitchen.
Don’t take people not understanding too personally.
Human beings struggle with empathy. It’s hard for people (especially young people) to understand the plight of a cancer patient, let alone the plight of someone struggling with a relatively unknown autoimmune disease. Sometimes their ignorance can be painful, but try not to dwell on it too long. They don’t know any better because they’ve never been forced to. Let that shit go!
Above all, life isn’t fair.
The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can figure out how to overcome the unfair parts. You were dealt a shitty hand, but the world doesn’t owe you anything. Refuse to be a victim. You will meet people who seem to never struggle. Don’t compare yourself to them. You’ll have to work twice as hard for the things you want, but your accomplishments will be twice as satisfying.